Post 7

God I hate this feeling. This feeling of drowning yet somehow feeling as if i'm being slowly burned alive at the same time. This sadness consuming everything, the paranoia seeping in and taking over my thoughts. I have tried lifting my hand to grasp for help, I get nothing. Even when I pretty blatantly say I'm not ok. I don't want to admit something could really be wrong. That I need help so badly. It's not that I need someone to save me, I just need someone to listen and care. I feel like no one does. Or they would notice i'm being eaten alive.

I'm not ok

I'm not ok. I'm feeling that feeling I get sometimes. The feeling of drowning. I keep letting out these silents screams, dropping subtle hints. No one hears. I've always had a problem asking for help. I feel like i'm sliding back down. Back down into unhealthiness. My life is frozen. And it drives me crazy. I'm depressed and my moods are swinging too and fro without warning. I need to get something done. I have a feeling that getting something done will ease this a little but I don't know where to start. This shit is never ending. I go almost 2 years feeling almost normal. Now I feel like i'm no my way to losing that. FUCK